So sorry (Ay bendito)

The phrase ¡ay bendito! (So sorry or Oh blessed), for us Puerto Ricans, is a very common one in our daily life. It seems to me that it is applicable to almost everything in our life. So much so, that it is written about it in reports, songs and is said to be the phrase that distinguishes us, internationally speaking. But while it is true that it is something very ours and very cultural, it is also true that we do not realize how much we have left in our lives.

Our personality is formed based on the thoughts that we are capturing of ourselves, as we grow. And the expression “oh blessed” is one that we begin to hear from birth. Oh blessed he is hungry, oh blessed he is cold, oh blessed he is sleepy, oh blessed he fell, oh blessed he is going to school, oh blessed they gave him a very difficult task, oh blessed he is going to college, oh blessed, oh blessed, Oh blessed… (It’s like feeling sorry for all of that).

Oh blessed (please), give me a break, oh blessed (please), don’t be like that with me, and oh blessed (please) is that you don’t understand. Life prolongs the “ay bendito” and we never realized how this phrase became a thief of dreams, in a phrase that made us weak and much worse, on many occasions made us victims.

We had previously shared about the complaint and the pain. Today I would like to share with you about victimhood. They are all linked together in one way or another. And although psychology has studied this in depth, finding that it can be up to a disorder, I want us to be able to see it in broad strokes only so that you can identify signals that you can work with to help you or help others.

To become a victim is to feel like a victim of all or of everything. The person who feels victimized blames the people around him or the circumstances that live from all their situations. They do not usually see themselves as responsible for the situations that occur, therefore they feel they have no control over them.

I started this writing talking about “oh blessed” (ay bandito) because victimhood can begin in an environment where there is an atmosphere of pity that makes it impossible for people to see themselves responsibly in order to take control over their lives and circumstances. Your life begins to be defined from a passive thought because everything around you says that there is nothing you can do, life is against you.

It is necessary to see how many dreams, how many possibilities and opportunities have been stolen to see you as the victim of circumstances, without the ability to see the tools or alternatives you can have to make everything change. Victimhood do not demand you, it does not challenge you, does not demand growth or effort from you. On the contrary, it make you weak, it make you passively conform, hoping that circumstances will change as if by magic.

A few months ago our pastor taught us about this and I remember that to confront us he used the phrase: “Leave the drama.” As much as we could see ourselves portrayed in the drama, many times of things that were not even a real problem, but a fleeting situation, but we gave it a giant size. Because that is how victimhood works, everything magnifies it.

There is a saying that I hear a lot that says: There is no evil that lasts a hundred years or a body that resists it. So every situation, whatever it is, has an expiration date, but we act as if it were eternal and tragic. Can’t you see God for you in every situation you go through, whatever it is? Do you know that victimhood alters the chemistry of your brain and makes you addicted to pain, suffering, and people’s pity? So, you have to evaluate how much you really have real circumstances and how many are created in your need to be a victim of the circumstances.

There is nothing in life where God cannot intervene, remember that your world is going to be created based on the thoughts you have. You decide how to see the circumstances. Could any of them be greater than our God? Will He want to see you in the role of the eternal victim in every circumstance that comes your way in life? Or, Can you believe that He has solutions for everything? You don’t need the pity of others, you need to understand today that God loves you and made you free from suffering and pain. When you begin to know his love and fill yourself with him, his fullness invades your life and everything else begins to lack meaning and value, because he fills it and provides everything. I freed myself from the drama, can you free yourself too? I believe it and I bet you can. Blessings